Body: | How to Properly Discipline your Child The Bible Way!
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Good parents refuse to leave their children at the mercy of their own
folly. Exerting every effort to prepare their children for successful
living, they teach them the needful skills of self-control, respect for
authority, consideration for others, and submission to God. This training
involves teaching, leading, correcting. In a word, this training involves
discipline.
First, effective discipline is consistent, but it is next to impossible to
be perfectly consistent. Personal feelings often spoil our efforts to be
consistent. One day because mother has a headache, the child must toe the
mark. The following day when everything is going well, the child can get
away with anything. Fire always burns, and children learn not to touch it
because it is consistently hot. A parent's "no" has meaning only if that
parent is consistent, never permitting the child to ignore it.
Second, effective discipline is positive. Discipline is not all negative.
The gentle, constant pressure of a dentist's braces can re-align the teeth,
likewise the steady patience of a positive parent can shape strong
character in a child.
Effective discipline demands proper example. God gave a high compliment to
Abraham when he said of him, "I know him, that he will command his children
and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord",
Genesis 18:19. This good father led by character and example. Joshua
admonished Israel, "Choose you this day whom you will serve," then he added
the strong words, "but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord,"
Joshua 24:15. He was a successful disciplinarian of others because he was
successful in self-discipline. Planting Bible principles in the heart of a
child is the most reliable insurance a parent can have against disobedience
and rebellion. By the time a child reaches school age, he may be spending
the majority of his waking hours away from parental influence. If those
first six years have been used by Godly parents to instill an awareness of
God's presence and to develop a sense of right and wrong, the child is much
less vulnerable to undesirable influences. The child who has been taught
respect for parental authority is more likely to respect the authority of
civil law and of God. He also needs to learn the discipline of work.
Learning to be a responsible, productive member, of the family is
important. Picking up toys and putting away clothes helps prepare the child
for the responsibilities of adult life.
Third, effective discipline is individualized. Wise parents do not compare
one child to another. Children are individuals, each with strengths and
weaknesses. They Find security in being loved and accepted. Even when the
child is punished, he must sense that it is because he is loved. (Hebrews
12:5-6) Proper discipline must be individualized. Each situation must be
seen from his view point before issuing mandates. Parents should respect a
child's right to express himself, being courteous and considerate of his
feelings. This is living the golden rule of Matthew 7:12.
Fourth, effective discipline is rewarding. There may be times when
discipline is met by obstinance and parents may be tempted to become soft
and permissive, but what is actually needed at this time is an added
measure of firmness. This temptation must be rejected if the rewards of
parenthood are to be realized. Seeing children grow into Christ-like living
productive adults is a rewards of carefully patterned discipline. The Bible
says that children are a heritage of the Lord, like arrows in the hand of a
warrior, are the sons of one's youth; Happy is the man who has a quiver
full of them, he has not been put to shame, Psalms 127:3-5. Solomon said,
"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not
depart from it" Proverbs 22:6.
Proper Discipline (Part 2)
The word discipline derives from the Greek word which means "to teach". Our
reducing of this good word to denote only the punishment of those who do
wrong is a mistake. And the widely held notion that he is the best parent
who most sternly and severely punishes his child for wrong-doing is a more
serious mistake.
Wrong-doing results in harm and is therefore to be avoided. This is a
lesson every child should learn. And it is necessary for a child to feel
something of the ill that results from his wrong attitudes and acts. In
infancy and early childhood, when reasoning powers are limited, the child
may be able to understand this only when his misdeeds are immediately and
sharply related to something that pains him. It is here, no doubt, that the
proverbial "rod" must be applied to prevent bad attitudes and acts from
becoming habits (Proverbs 13:24; 23:13).
But true discipline not only emphasizes the ill that comes from harmful
acts; it also hastens to show the good effects that come from good acts and
attitudes. And when the child's powers of reason are not well developed to
see such natural, good effects, the wise and thoughtful parent will reward
the child's good deeds with immediate and pleasant things.
True discipline is positive, as well as negative. Jesus' parable of the man
from whom the demon was driven is excellent illustration (Luke 11:23-26).
The demon wandered in dry places and found no home. He eventually came back
to his former home to find that it was swept and garnished - but still
empty! He immediately sought out other homeless demons whom he had met in
his wanderings and invited them to live with him in the readied, empty
heart of the man he had formerly inhabited. The man's last state was worse
than the first!
That "discipline" which is concerned only with removing evil is doomed to
fail. It may result in making a child good, but good for nothing! True
discipline not only guards, but guides. It overcomes evil with good.
Timothy was wisely disciplined in that in his childhood his mind was filled
with the knowledge of the sacred Scripture (11 Timothy 3:15). Jesus at
twelve years of age was committed to His father's business (Luke 2:49).
Paul refers to an attitude of some teachers who multiply rules such as "do
not touch, do not taste, do not handle", which, he says, have a show of
wisdom in will-worship but have no value against the indulgence of the
flesh (Colossians 2:20-23). Parents may profit from this word. The truly
disciplined child is not the one who knows only what not to do - rather the
one who is instructed and practiced in good things to do.
Effective discipline consists not only of words and acts of correction, but
also it involves instruction and exhortation to good deeds and thought. In
addition to all this, the most effective discipline is a loving and patient
example in all good things. Not that there is never reproof or bodily
punishment; not that instruction and encouragement by word of mouth is
lacking, but the teachers who are most sure of success are those whose
lives are worth examples and whose love and patience inspire their
discipline. Those parents who give to their children the security and joy
of a home where love surrounds them, and whose words of teaching and
guidance are demonstrated daily and fully in righteous, patient, unselfish
service both in and out of the home, are those who truly discipline their
children!
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