..
Speaking the Truth in Love
Ephesians 4:15
Some of the most challenging questions Christians must answer are these: "How
can I present God's Word in a way that will accomplish the most good? Is my
disposition regarding truth and my attitude toward others such that the cause of
Christ is helped, not hindered?"
Paul's admonition in Ephesians 4:15 provides the key to answering these
questions: ". . . But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all
things, which is the head, even Christ. . . ." I realize we're interrupting the
apostle in mid-sentence, but there are three principal points we need to see in
v. 15.
First, Paul says we need to speak the truth. Feeble, arrogant man is often
tempted in his own conceit to pose the question which Pilate asked in John
18:38, "What is truth?" Pilate suggests by his question that objective truth is
a fairy tale, a wisp of smoke, a flight of fancy. Pilate scoffed at the very
concept of absolute truth. By his question, he implies that all things are
relative.
Contrary to Pilate's appraisal, Jesus affirms that his teaching was based on
objective truth. "Every one that is of the truth heareth my voice" (v. 37).
Christ's teachings do not emanate from man's philosophy; they are not the result
of personal feelings or prejudice.
The Bible tells us in plain language that it is truth and that man can only be
saved by humble obedience to that truth in accordance with God's will. "Sanctify
them through thy truth," John 17:17 tells us; "thy word is truth." John 8:32
states plainly, "And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you
free." Here truth is used in an absolute sense. For the Christian, the Bible is
not just the basis for some doctrine or a doctrine; it is the basis for all
doctrine.
So, Pilate, you had it wrong. There is such a thing as absolute, objective
truth, and Jesus was speaking the truth. "I am the way, the truth, and the life:
no man cometh unto the Father but by me" (John 14:6).
Since you and I are to speak the truth, that means we must speak from the Bible.
"If any man speak, let him speak as the oracles of God . . ." (I Pet. 4:11). It
also means that we may not neglect parts of the Bible in our examination of the
truth.
For example, it would be wrong for me to construct an entire theological house
on John 3:16 and leave out everything else God's Word has to say about the plan
of salvation. If I do, I end up with a perversion such as "Man is saved by faith
only." Nor should I focus exclusively on the "love" passages of the Bible and
conclude that churches should never withdraw themselves from wayward members. It
also would be incorrect for me to
emphasize Paul's admonition for Timothy to use a little wine for his stomach's
sake (I Tim. 5:23) to the exclusion of all other passages on the subject, and
decide that social drinking is fine.
Paul understood the importance of speaking the truth. In Acts 20:27, when he
tells the elders at Ephesus that "I have not shunned to declare unto you all the
counsel of God," he's saying he told them all the truth. God's Word makes man
complete (2 Tim. 3:16-17), so Paul didn't hold back any part of it from them.
Well, John, are you saying that we must preach the whole Bible in every lesson,
or else we have lied? No, but like Paul we can resolve to preach only that which
is true, and we can endeavor to examine all that God has revealed on a subject
to come to an understanding of the truth.
If we neglect part of the truth, if we speak part of the truth as though it were
all, or with a view to deceive, we err.
Second, Paul tells us how we are to speak the truth: We are to speak it in love.
This describes our attitude in presenting the truth. While love is an abstract
noun we often struggle to understand, I find it easiest to think of acting in
another person's best interest.
First, as Christians, we remember the love which God and Christ manifested for
us. In Rom. 5:8 we read, "But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while
we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." God loved us enough to send His son to
this earth as the only acceptable, perfect sacrifice for sins. Christ loved us
enough to suffer the cruelest kind of death to pay the penalty for our sins.
Deity acted in our best interest.
With the example of Christ in our minds, then, we act in the best interest of
others. We don't speak the truth just to win a fuss fight. We don't use the
truth like a hammer to hit someone over the head. Love means we don't look for
opportunities to grill someone like a steak or to show the superiority of our
knowledge. We don't use the truth like a harsh spotlight to create unnecessary
embarrassment in some poor soul.
We speak the truth in love-with a view to saving souls. We speak the truth to
uplift and comfort the fainthearted. We speak the truth to restore those who
have wandered from God and into sin. We speak the truth to instruct and exhort.
We speak the truth to encourage and admonish. We speak the truth to correct and
persuade. Always, always, we speak the truth to glorify God.
The third point we need to understand is found in the last part of v. 15.
Speaking the truth in love is a mark of a mature Christian. By doing this, Paul
says, we ". . . may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even
Christ. . . ." Speaking the truth in love is a sign of one who is becoming more
Christ-like in his attitude and actions.
Ephesians 4:15 is not a verse which is difficult to understand, but it is a
challenge to practice! I'm going to work on it. I'm sure going to pray about it.
I'm going to ask God to grant me spiritual wisdom that I may apply it correctly.
May I humbly suggest that it's a special challenge for each one of us as we
wrestle with some of the difficult problems of our day. As we struggle with such
issues as marriage and divorce, church discipline, and the deity of Christ, let
us remember to speak the truth in love.
Let us remember that it's not genuine love if we refuse to speak the truth.
Oftentimes I'm afraid we use love for brethren as an excuse not to deal directly
with a problem. Also, let us remember that it's not truth as God would have it
expressed if love is absent. The mature Christian heeds Paul's full admonition.
He speaks the truth in love.
Please don't misunderstand my message here. I'm not saying that love must
validate truth. In Phil. 1:15-18, for example, Paul describes a situation where
some taught truth from the wrong motives. He disapproved of their attitude, but
he rejoiced that Christ was preached.
The point is, there's a way Christians are to proclaim the truth. Our attitude
should reflect the fact that we want to help, not hinder.
Is there a time to deal directly, plainly, even forcefully with a problem?
Absolutely! In Titus 3:10 Paul instructs Titus to "Reject a factious man after a
first and second warning" (NASB). That's plain, isn't it! Paul says if you get a
fellow who's a divisive and factious element within a congregation, you don't
tap dance around like you're tiptoeing on jacks. You get after it and deal with
the problem. Show some starch, some backbone, before more harm is done!
But, love for all the brethren and love for God should be a Christian's attitude
of life, even when we are pressed to make firm stands on difficult matters. Our
speech can be direct and bold, with courage and conviction, even as we maintain
a Christian's character.
As we labor with fellow saints in a local church of Christ, let our attitude be
one of loving the truth and loving one another. Let us prefer brother and sister
above self (Phil. 2:3-4). Let us labor together in the kingdom of our Lord.
By John N. Evans
From Expository Files 4.6; June 1997
