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At The Beginning: A Study of Marriage
Matthew 19:1-13
Would we not expect the one who created the institution of marriage to dictate
concerning it? Would God give us the unity of marriage and leave us to wonder
how to live in it? God has said quite a bit on the subject of marriage and
despite what some might think His will is clearly revealed. Jesus also spoke on
this important subject during his time here on earth. One such time was here in
our text of Matthew 19:1-13. We should pay careful attention to anything our
Lord says on any subject. Let us carefully examine what our Lord says on the
subject of marriage. As we should always do, let us stop here and read our text.
1 When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left
Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. 2
Large crowds followed him, and he
healed them there. 3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, Is it
lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason? 4 Haven't you
read, he replied, that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female, 5
and said, For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united
to his wife, and the two will become one flesh? 6 So they are no longer two, but
one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate. 7 Why then,
they asked, did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce
and send her away? 8 Jesus replied, Moses permitted you to divorce your wives
because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I
tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness,
and marries another woman commits adultery. 10 The disciples said to him, If
this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry. 11
Jesus replied, Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has
been given. 12 For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were
made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom
of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it. 13 Then little children
were brought to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But
the disciples rebuked those who brought them (Matthew 19:1-13).
It is interesting to note where this encounter took place. Jesus was on the
other side of the Jordan. This is the territory where Herod Antipas ruled.
Remember Herod. Remember his stance on marriage-divorce-remarriage. This is the
same Herod who had John the baptizer executed when John accosted Herod over his
unlawful union with Herodias. Jesus better watch His step while in Herod's
territory.
It was here, the worst possible place on earth to discuss the subject of
marriage and divorce, that the Pharisees came to test Jesus on the issue. Did
the Pharisees ever ask Jesus a sincere question? They were not at all sincere
here. They were attempting to entrap Jesus. Perhaps they were trying to get
Jesus in trouble with Herod. Possibly if Jesus came out strong against divorce,
Antipas would deal him the same hand he dealt John. The jealous Pharisees may
have been asking their question seeking Jesus life. Another possibility is that
the Pharisees were trying to get Jesus to contradict the Law of Moses (or their
interpretation of the Law). If Jesus would go on record contradicting Moses, He
would lose his credibility among the Jews.
Another option has been offered. Some have spent much time trying to convince us
that the Pharisees were endeavoring to get Jesus to choose among three schools
of thought among the Rabbis of the day. While this makes for
intelligent-sounding talk, it seems unfounded and unsupported by the text. The
first two options stated seem better possibilities.
Their question, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every
reason?" was not sincere; Jesus' answer was. It is worthwhile to note how Jesus
answered this question. He did not check to see what popular opinion said. He
did not consult the learned scribes of His day. He did not dodge the question.
Neither did He answer it in some lengthy, technical sounding discussions
requiring pages to record. He gave a simple, direct answer based upon the word
of God. He went back to the beginning, the beginning of the marriage
relationship. It is notable that the marriage relationship and God's dictates
regarding it predate the church, government, and the nation of Israel. God's law
(that Jesus notes here) on marriage and divorce was given at the beginning and
applies to all, regardless of the government they live under, whether or not
they are Israelites, whether or not they are in or out of the church.
"Havn't you read?" Let us go back to read and reflect on Jesus' text, Genesis
2:18-24:
18 The LORD God said, It is not good for the man to be
alone. I will make a helper suitable for him. 19 Now the LORD God had formed out
of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He
brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man
called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all
the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for
Adam no suitable helper was found. 21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall
into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and
closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the
rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. 23 The man said,
This is now bone of my bones and flesh of
my flesh; she shall be called woman', for she was taken out of man. 24 For this
reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and
they will become one flesh (Genesis 2:18-24).
Let us take some time to make a few remarks about this text. First, let us see
that the order of creation is important. It is surely no accident or coincidence
that God had Adam view and name the animals before his helper was given to him.
Two things surely must have crossed Adams mind during the process of naming the
animals of Gods creation. One thing that possibly occurred to Adam was that
although these animals would be suitable for many tasks, none of them were truly
suitable as a companion for man. Whoever said, "A dog is man's best friend" must
have been a single fellow. As helpful and useful as all of God's creation would
be to man, none of these animals were socially, intellectually, or sexually
compatible to man.
Another thought that might have occurred to Adam was that all of the rest of
God's creatures had a suitable counterpart. For every animal there was a mate
suited
perfectly for it. There was no such mate for man. But for Adam no suitable
helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep...
Now that man was acutely aware of his loneliness, God set about to remedy this
temporary want in His creation. Woman was made to be a suitable helper for man,
a one completely compatible to and answering to all his needs. What a wonderful
illustrative way to show and meet mans needs.
The order of the creation is therefore important. Likewise, the method of
creation recorded here is also significant. Why didn't God make woman from the
dust of the earth as He had man? Why wasn't she simply spoke into existence? Why
was she made from the side of man? Surely it was to teach us a lesson about the
relationship between man and woman between husband and wife. Have you heard in a
sermon or wedding ceremony that the reason the woman was taken from the side of
man was so they could walk side by side as equal? She was not taken from his
head, so she is not to walk over him. She was not taken from his feet, so she is
not to be walked on. Well, that's cute, but I don't think that is the point at
all. Their is significance to the method of creation, but that doesn't seem to
be it.
That's like saying the wedding band is round to symbolize the never-ending
circle of love the new couple is to have for each other. The real reason the
ring is round is because that's the shape of our fingers. If our fingers were
square, the ring would be, too. Then we would have to come up with another
saying.
What then is the significance of the method of creation? Why was woman made from
the side of man? What began as one flesh through a miracle of God became two to
show us that two will become one flesh in marriage.
Can you fathom Adam sending away Eve, divorcing her? In so doing he would be
sending away his own flesh. It would be inconceivable for Adam to send his own
flesh away. What an distinctive way to show the permanence of marriage! Jesus
said, and the two will become one flesh. This was true, literally in the first
couple. This first couple illustrates for all future couples the ridiculousness
of putting away ones mate, for in so doing one is sending away his/her own
flesh.
Lastly, their is high significance in the result of Gods creation. What did God
make for Adam? Another man? NO! Several women? NO! God made one woman for man.
Gods ideal is one man for one woman for life. Gods creation authorizes this. It
does not authorize deviant sex or polygamy.
The text then states...For this reason a man will leave his father and mother
and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. This is a conclusion
applying to
all mankind, not to just Adam and Eve. In fact, it wasn't talking about Adam and
Eve at all. You see, Adam and Eve had no fleshly parents to leave. We are to
leave father and mother and be united and thus become one flesh. It should then
be unthinkable to send away a part of ourselves. As husband and wife, we are
one.
Now back to Matthew 19. Notice Jesus conclusion: For this reason a man will
leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become
one flesh? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined
together, let man not separate. Since we are one flesh, and thus by the decree
of God, we have NO right to separate and become two again. Jesus answer to the
Pharisees question (Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every
reason.) is No, it is unthinkable. Jesus says divorce is wrong.
The Pharisees then retort, Why then did Moses command that a man give his wife a
certificate of divorce and send her away? They make their appeal from the law of
Moses. Jesus made His appeal from the creation account. He then shows that the
beginning is the basis for His law. We could discuss and debate at length the
meaning of Deuteronomy 24. Did the Pharisees interpret it correctly? Were they
misusing this text? The question really is, For us, does it matter? Jesus makes
clear that it didn't apply at the beginning and doesn't apply now.
Jesus then clearly states Gods present law on marriage: I tell you that anyone
who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another
woman commits adultery. Let this verse be heard and preached throughout this
country. Our disgraceful national divorce rate indicates that this verse is not
being preached, or at least practiced very much today.
Marriage is for life. Divorce is wrong. Remarriage is adultery. No redefining of
terms, no liberal softening will change Gods law. There is one exception, namely
marital unfaithfulness. Let us focus on the law and not the exception. By
focusing on the exception we become guilty of doing the same thing as the
Pharisees. We are not saying to eliminate the exception, only to not make the
exception the law. The law is, Do not divorce.
Not until we start preaching and practicing Gods law on marriage can we ever
hope to slow the present horrible plague of divorce. Gods law is simple and easy
to
understand. It is the sinful situations of men and the learned musings about
Gods law that makes for difficulty.
Gods law can also be considered harsh and restrictive. The apostles recognized
this...It is better not to marry. Jesus said that is good for some, but not all
can remain unmarried. The apostles and Jesus understood that the law He had
stated was somewhat difficult not difficult to understand, but difficult to live
by. It meant that one was restricted to one mate for life, except in the event
of fornication.
That is Gods law. It is simple. It is restrictive. It applies to all.
By Ken Chapman
From Expository Files 1.12; December, 1994
