Ladies: He is great as a date...
but how about as a mate???
(The Choice of a Lifetime)
"Two roads diverged in a wood and I -- I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." -Robert Frost
The choices we make add up to the sum of our lives. For a woman, there is one choice that will be the most important one you will ever make: whom will you marry?
A wise woman will spend much time in thought on this subject. After all, the person you decide to put in authority over you will have everything to say about your life. He will be your leader.
As a Christian, there is only one command that God gives a wife: submit to your husband. Since this is specifically stated in Ephesians 5:22 and Colossians 3:18, shouldn't we take this seriously? We should always be looking for the man we love, but we need to be able to fulfill God's command as well. Shouldn't we give some thought as to who we are dating? After all, we are entrusting our whole lives to these men, shouldn't we elevate our standards a little? A woman should never have to settle for less than what she considers the best of the best.
Men know how to impress women. Hundreds books have been written on the subject. Countless sonnets have been written to woo us. Men know all the emotional strings to pull. Women who are looking for a husband need to be able to look into those puppy dog eyes and ask themselves, "Could I submit to this man for the rest of my life?" The next question that needs to be answered, as he is telling you that you are the most radiant of God's creatures is, "Do I feel he is capable of leading me?" If you can't answer yes to both questions, then you need to keep looking.
There's no harm in a woman dating. It's the best way to learn about yourself, and other people. It's a great way to share your faith and what you believe. If you choose to date, you need to be sure that the men you date understand what you mean by the word. When I met my husband, I wasn't a Christian. He told me plainly, "We can go out on dates, we can hang out, we can do whatever. But I am a Christian and that's very important to me." He made it absolutely clear to me that we were not in a dating relationship. That's the key. If you go out on a date, you have no obligation whatsoever to continue dating that person if it doesn't work out.
If you are a man and you are reading this, take note. A woman will respect you greatly if you lead the relationship. God calls you to be the leader. Live up to it! Don't make a woman guess as to whether or not you are truly involved with each other. Talk to her and find out where she feels the two of you are headed. Make sure you take the step and ask her to be your girlfriend, if that's the road you wish to travel. Make those distinctions clear, so that there is no question.
1 Peter 3:7 tells husbands that they should treat their wives with respect as the weaker partner. How does the person you're dating treat you? If he isn't kind, gentle, and fair; would you want to live the rest of your life in subjection to him? Remember that a dating relationship is the opportunity you have to decide if you will spend the rest of your life with that person. Once you are married, you have made your decision.
Since the husband is the head of the household, it is our job as wives to obey him and submit to his authority. Failing to do this will be of no benefit to us. All too often we hear the term "ball and chain" in reference to the wife. Solomon had a different way of putting it. What do Proverbs 19:13, 21:9, 21:19, 25:24, and 27:15 all have in common? They talk about what it is like to be with a quarrelsome (or contentious) wife. Do we really want our husbands to describe us as such?
It is commanded by God that wives are to submit to their husbands. If you do not, Romans 8:7 says that you are guilty of having a sinful mind that is hostile to God that does not submit to God's law. How do you think God feels when you disrespect your husband? It's like taking the perfect gift he gave you and tossing it back in his face and saying it's not good enough.
Many women quote the passage of the noble wife in Proverbs 31:10-31; but do we really want to be this woman? Do we really want to work this hard every day of our lives? If your answer is yes, take a close look at what God calls noble. You will be a busy woman. Understand that if you strive to have the character of a noble woman, you will make your husband's life a complete joy and blessing. This is of great benefit to you because your husband will do everything in his power to make your life as enjoyable as he can make it.
If your desire is to find a godly husband to lead you, start by being a noble woman. Look to gain wisdom in all that you do. Your suitors will respect this. It will also attract them. Solomon describes wisdom as supreme in Proverbs 4:7. He says, "Though it costs all you have, get understanding..." Strive to have your suitors say this of you. As a woman, you have the power to make your life all that you can make it. Marriage is the greatest choice a woman can make for herself, and her husband. If you are honest with yourself about what you are looking for in a husband and keep those things in mind as you date, you truly will make the choice of a lifetime.
by Lara Giesbers
