Eleven patterns of submission & headship in the New Testament Headship of the Husband in the Bible
Eleven patterns of submission & headship in the New Testament
Man and Woman: Equal but different in 19 ways!
A. Summary Of Headship Passages:
B. Husbands and Headship:
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Dysfunctional Headship |
Proper Headship |
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Gives orders without asking or permitting questions-others not as smart |
Asks questions, seeks to truly hear, suggests alternatives, desires input-learns from others |
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Makes demands, dishes out directives, lays down the law, cracks the whip-but doesn't delegate |
Delegates authority & responsibility; Respects freedom & dignity of others, keeps reigns loose |
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Insecure in personal identity and authority and is therefore defensive if challenged |
Secure in self-identity, understands his authority, views challenging as positive |
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Requires compliance regardless of consent or agreement |
Values willing cooperation, works for open agreement and understanding |
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Pushes and manipulates, one man rules in a ridged over-under position |
Leads, attracts, persuades personal relationships in side-by-side identification |
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Says, "You do, you must do", or "Yours is not to wonder why, yours is but to do or die"! |
Says, "Come, let's do, we might have done, can we try" |
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Depends on external authority to motivate others |
Depends on internal integrity to motivate others |
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Generates friction, resistance, resentment, separates and isolates people |
Generates acceptance, co-operation, reconciliation, unites and helps persons relate to each other |
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Leads by command and threat |
Leads by example, understanding and kindness |
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Asks others to do things he would not |
Asks others to do things he has and would do |
C. A wife "fine tunes" her husband's thinking
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IF THE HUSBAND SAYS |
THE WIFE REPLIES |
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"Cooking is woman's work" |
Jesus cooked: Jn 21:9-12 |
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"Doing the laundry is a woman's job" |
Jesus folded laundry: Jn 20:6-7 |
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"Cleaning the house is not my work" |
Jesus cleansed the temple: Jn 2:13-16 |
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"Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him Lord": 1 Pe 3:6 |
True, but God also commanded Abraham to obey Sarah: Gen 21:9-12 |
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"You must submit to me because I am your husband" Eph 5:22 |
True, and you must submit to me because we are both Christians and fellow-heirs: Eph 5:21 |
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If I go to all the work of making a mess... the least you can do is clean it up! |
If you go to all the work of making the money... the least I can do is spend it! |
D. Headship doesn't negate that husbands must submit to their wife:
E. God gave women the authority to make important decisions too
F. Put Another Log On The Fire: Song by Shel Silverstein
This song is a good example of a bad husband:
Put another log on the fire. Cook me up some bacon and some beans. And go out to the car and change the tire. Wash my socks and sew my old blue jeans. Come on, Baby!
Now, don't I let you wash the car on Sundays? Don't I warn you when you're getting fat? Ain't I gonna take you fishin' some day? A man can't love his wife more than that!
Ain't I always nice to your kid sister? Don't I take her drivin' every night? So, sit here at my feet 'Cause I like you when you're sweet. And you know it ain't feminine to fight! Come on, Baby!
You can fill my pipe. And then go fetch my slippers. And boil me up another pot of tea. Then put another log on the fire, Babe. And come and tell me why you're leavin' me.
Steve Rudd
